Many things begin and end in my life, but never did I ever think I’d choose to be unemployed. Sure I expected to be fired or made redundant in my working career, but never willfully decide to have no means of making a crust. Still on Friday the 9th of April I did just that, became unemployed by my own hand.
I imagined my last day at work to be a lazy quiet day full of reflection and friendly banter with my work mates, in reality it was the same as every other day. Such a pivotal moment where I change from my old life into my new life and I just walked out the door of work like I always did. Somewhat anti-climatic given how long I had waited for the moment to arrive.
It wasn’t till I had packed up my life in Ballarat and was driving home yesterday to spend two weeks with my parents that I finally felt it. That emotion you can’t describe no matter how many ways you try too. Merging joy and fear, happiness with sadness, the building up to something great yet not being able to comprehend that greatness.
I find myself stuck in limbo, not knowing whether to doubt myself or run kicking and screaming into the unknown. One moment I am filled with excitement about being finished work and being so close to boarding a plane. Then I think back to work and how I will miss my clients and the people I worked with.
Still amongst all the emotions I keep coming back to a quote one of my suppliers said to me as I said my goodbyes and he wished me all the best.
Better to regret something you did, than something you never did…
Perhaps when confronted with such a life changing moment you just need to check your emotions at the door and go with it. Don’t try to understand it or reason out every feeling and mood. Just absorb everything around you, trust in what your doing and take a leap of faith.
After all once my bum is on that plane destined for Paris there will be no time for second guessing or what if moments.